


May death never stop you

by Hopefully_not_a_shitty_ballerina



Category: MCR - Fandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: F/F, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 16:42:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9333785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopefully_not_a_shitty_ballerina/pseuds/Hopefully_not_a_shitty_ballerina
Summary: Frank doesn't know what to do, Gerard's gone, and everything hurts.





	

“I guess I should start with the simple things, who has died, and what they were to me.” Frank said, he looked out over the funeral, so many tears being shed, so much pain. Frank felt none of it, he was immune to the pain the filtered in and out of these people. “But with Gerard, that isn’t really the easiest thing.”

  
A million memories flashed through Frank’s head.

  
````````

  
_Gerard skated around on the ice, he was doing this without the help of ice skates. He skated past the far less graceful Frank who was finding it difficult to stand up straight without falling. They were standing on a frozen lake, in the middle on the woods, something that Gerard had found on one of his many walks through the woods late at night. It was nearing sunrise now. Gerard had dragged Frank out hours ago, taking him as quickly as he could to the large pond._

  
_“Com’on Frankie, you’ve got this!” Gerard called, he danced around Frank, pecking his boyfriend on the cheek. Frank studied the leaves that had gotten frozen on the surface of the water. He was positive that he would be the one who ended up kissing the assault, or in this case, ice._

  
_“Easy for you to say, you’ve got balance.” Frank grumbled, he went to move one of his feet, and slipped. Frank fall hard on the ice, bruising his elbow in the process. Gerard looked at his boyfriend on the ground and stifled a laugh. “ugh,” Frank groaned, “I think I fell on my keys.”_

  
_That was the final straw for Gerard, who burst out laughing. Frank threw loose snow at his boyfriend and crawled over to the banks of the lake. “Oh no! don’t leave me Josh!” Gerard called, he tried to move quickly, but ended up in slipping, however unlike Frank, he laughed, and picked himself back up._

  
_“I’m not leaving Gee, chill your tits, I’m just getting off the ice.”_

``````  
_“I refuse to do that ‘forever and Always’ crap with you Gee. I mean it, it’s the most cliché thing any couple can do.” Frank said, Gerard lay next to him, their limbs intertwined on the bed, it was difficult to see were one of them ended and the other began._

  
_“But, I want us to be together forever and always.” Gerard said, he was facing Frank and had his hands pulled up to his chest. It was still cold outside, and Gerard had bad blood flow, so naturally this was the best way to spend the day, cuddled up pretending nothing else mattered._

_“I will stay with you until you tell me to go away Gee.” Frank said, he kissed the top of Gerard’s head. Gerard closed his eyes and out his head-on Frank’s chest. He had confided in the frank that even if he was taller, he liked being the little spoon so much more than he liked being a big spoon._

_“How about we do ‘Semper Fidelis’?” Gerard said, he opened his eyes and watched his boyfriend’s face as he processed the words._

_“Always faithful? I think it could work.” Frank said, a smile formed on Gerard’s face. “That is, if both of us are faithful, it’d be shitty if one of us_ _wasn’t, wouldn’t it?” Gerard smiled again and placed a kiss on Franks’ nose._

_“Of course,”_

_“DO you think that we’ll be together forever?” Gerard asked, Frank sighed, and looked up at his boyfriend._

_“I think that if we get married we will be.” Frank said, Gerard smiled and kissed Frank on the top of his head._

_“Why do you say that?” he asked._

_“Because, I don’t want to get a divorce. I will do anything to make a relationship work, because I hate divorces, they leave people feeling raw. They hurt, so bad.” Frank said. Gerard wondered if he was talking about his parents._

_“I love you.” Gerard whispered._

_“I love you too.”_

_````````_

_“Come’ on Frankie, let’s break into the church.” Gerard said, Frank raised his eye brows and looked at the two men on the ground in front of him. Frank was playing the sober friend, with both Gerard and Bob stoned. Bob nodded in agreement, never taking his eyes off his hands, they fascinated him like this._

_“No Gerard, that’s a bad idea.” Frank said, Gerard pouted, and pulled out his bottom lip, making his eyes as large and puppy-dog like as possible._

_“Man, how sick would it be to go in a church at midnight?” Bob said, he looked up at Frank, and grinned. “‘sides, we’re all atheists anyway, what’s the imaginary man in the sky gunna do to us?”_

_“I’m catholic, and I’m not breaking into a church.” Frank said, Gerard grabbed Franks hand and started places kisses on it._

_“Come’ on Baby, it’s be great.” Gerard said, he pulled himself to his feet and stood up over Josh. “You and I both know that you can pick that lock.” Frank sighed, he really didn’t want to break into a church, this was something he’d have to confess on Sunday, and god help him if he wasn’t already confessing enough to the damn priest._

_Gerard started to kiss Frank’s neck, sending shivers down his spine. Frank realized that Gerard wasn’t going to drop it, which meant that Bob wouldn’t either. He sighed, and broke away from Gerard._  
 _“I swear Gerard, you’re going to kill me.” Frank muttered. He pulled a hair pin and a small screw driver out of his pocket and moved over to the large lock on the front of the buildin_ g. After a few minutes of fiddling, the lock opened, and Frank placed it on the ground next to the door, so that _he could re-lock it later._

_When the doors swung open, Gerard placed a big kiss on Frank’s cheek, and pulled Bob inside. “we’ll be back love, don’t worry!” Gerard called. Frank rolled his eyes, and stood outside of the church, hugging his sides. It was cold, and frank didn’t want the cops to show up. Trying to explain to his parents why he was in Jail when he was supposed to be at a sleep over was not something that he was looking forward to._

_A few minutes passed and Gerard swaggered out of the front of the church, a dazed by smiling Bob followed him. Frank closed his eyes, and tried not to think of what they might have done in the church while he waited outside, Frank looked at the way that Bob watched Gerard, a feeling of green eyed envy sparked in his stomach._

_Frank caught Gerard by the arm and kissed him hard, Gerard, the horny bastard that he was, accepted the kiss and stole Frank’s breath. Bob looked at the sky, ignoring his friends making out beside him. Frank released Gerard and closed the doors of the Church, securing the padlock in place as it had been before._

_“Com’on doll face, let’s go back to your house.” Frank said, he grabbed Gerard’s hand and began to walk away from the church, bob following_ _closely behind._

_``````````````````_  
_Frank kissed Gerard’s hand, as Gerard’s parents looked around, pretending not to notice that way that Gerard smiled as Frank held his hand under_ _the table._

_“We’re so happy you could come and join us.” Gerard’s step father said. Gerard had introduced him as David earlier, but Frank was having a hard time remembering the name. “We didn’t think that your parents would allow you to come.”_   
_Frank nodded, a fake smile plastered on his face. David was right, it had been an uphill battle with his parents to come and hang out with Gerard. Frank’s father didn’t agree with some of the… practices that Gerard’s family believed in. Frank didn’t care, as long as they weren’t hurting anyone, what was the harm of letting people do what they want?_

_“Yes, I didn’t either.” Frank said, Gerard pecked Frank on the cheek and stole some of his food. Everyone else was eating some kind of seafood, Gerard himself was on his third plate of sushi. Frank, on the other hand, was eating some of the non-fish foods the Chinese buffet had to offer. Frank’s nasty allergy to fish hadn’t been mentioned when Gerard’s brother Mikey was picking the restaurant. Frank didn’t mind, he was perfectly content with eating fried noodles._

_“Com’on Frankie,” Gerard said, he stood up and smiled, “Let’s go and look at the fish!” Franks stood up, and followed Gerard as he skipped in the direction of the coy pond-fountain thing by the entrance of the restaurant. Frank, the everlasting ball of energy that he was, smiled and skipped along with him._

_“So,” Frank said as Gerard stuck his hand in the water of the pond, “What do you think they think of me?” he said, inclining his head in the direction of Gerard’s parents. Frank went to lean against the fountain, and his grip slipped, nearly sending him in with the fish._

_“Watch it Frankie!” Gerard said with a giggle, he grabbed Frank’s arm before he could fall in, and pulled the shorter boy to him. “My parents love you, okay?”_

_“okay.” Frank Whispered._

``````````````````  
_“Frankie, please, I know you’re angry-” Gerard said, he followed Frank around the house as he packed his things. Frank rounded on him, the look on his face one that could kill._

_“Angry? You think I’m just ‘angry’?” He scoffed and turned back around. Gerard watched helplessly as Frank shoved his clothing into a duffle bag._

_“Frankie, I’m so sorry-” Gerard began, but was cut off by Frank who turned to him again._

_“Don’t fucking call me that.” Frank growled, Gerard flinched away from Frank as if he’d been slapped. “When were, you going to tell me Gerard?”_

_“When we were married.” Gerard whispered, he held Frank’s hateful gaze as he spoke, “When you couldn’t leave me.”_

_“Oh, that’s a fucking brilliant plan!” Frank said, he picked up his bag and went to the bathroom. Gerard followed him like he didn’t know what else to do. “Wait until you know I won’t leave, wait until you know that I’ll do anything to make it work, to tell me that you’ve cheated on me with your ex-girlfriend.” Gerard began to cry again, as he had stopped only a few minutes before._

_“Please, frank, don’t leave.” Gerard said, his breath was coming out in short gasps, and Frank knew he was about to start sobbing. Frank was too angry to care, Gerard had done this to himself, after all._

_“Gerard, all I fucking asked for was honesty. It would have been different if you fucking told me.” Frank said, he grabbed his bag and began to make his way to the front door. “But she came to me at my fucking Job, and told me, because she didn’t know we were together. Call me when you’ve got your fucking priorities straight.”_

_“please- frank I’m so sorry.” Gerard whimpered, he had fallen to his knees on the carpeted floor, and was looking up at frank with hope in his eyes._

_“No, you’re sorry you got caught.”_  
`````````````

_“I forgive you.” Frank said, Gerard smiled softly and pulled Frank to him._

_“Thank you.” Gerard whispered, the house was a mess, as Gerard couldn’t be bothered to do much in the depressive days that Frank had been at_ _his sister’s house. Frank didn’t say anything about the mess, he just set down his duffle and began to pick up broken pieces of glass and trash._   
_Gerard went into the kitchen and tried to find two mugs that had survived the purge. When he did he set about making coffee for himself and frank._

_“I love you.” Gerard said, Frank heard him from the living room and smiled._

_“I love you too.”_

_```````````_

_“We can’t keep fucking doing this Gerard.” Frank said, it was two in the morning, and the pair were going in circles again. Gerard would cheat on him, and Frank wouldn’t leave, simply forgiving him after locking himself in the bathroom for a few hours. This time was different, Frank came home from work to find someone in his bed with Gerard._   
_Gerard, to his credit, hadn’t even realized that Frank had seen them, as frank had barely reacted. He simply just shut the door, and walked away. Frank had found himself about an hour later, driving down the familiar road to his sister’s house, in another state._   
_Gerard called Frank at ten that night, when he realized that frank hadn’t come Home. It was Frank’s sister Hope that answered, and she said many unkind things before Frank realized who she was on the phone with._

_“I know, I’m sorry, I just-”_

_“Save the apologizes Gerard. I’m done.” Frank said. The line was silent for a few seconds before Gerard spoke._

_“Please, Frank.” Frank hung up the phone and placed his hand on his head. He really was tired of it all._  
 _`````````_  
_Frank had gone and collected his things from the house two days later, deciding to move into a small apartment on the other side of the city. It wasn’t ideal, but it was close enough to his job that he decided that he would make it work. Gerard called him almost constantly, but frank refused to talk to him._

_Frank’s second day into his new home, when he got a call. He’d originally planned on not answering, but the caller ID made him change his mind._

_“Is this Frank Iero?” the voice on the other side of the line said._

_“Yes? This is he.”_

_“this is the department of defense, you applied for a job in Roade, Spain, and we would like to offer you the position formally. However, you would_ _need to go to the main office in DC for the interview……. -“_

_Frank listened to the man on the other end, his mind in shock. Of course, he’d applied, but he hadn’t even dreamed that he’d get the job. When he got off the phone, his first instinct was to call Gerard. Something made him stop. He called his sister instead._

_`````````````_  
_It’s been a year since Gerard and Frank have talked to each other. Gerard found out after months of begging his friends that Frank has moved to_ _Spain. Frank is the one who initially reached out to Gerard to start talking to him again._

_“God, she’s great Frankie.” Gerard said. Frank smiled softy as Gerard talked about his fiancé. He hasn’t met the woman, and he hates her. He figures it’s normal, at least for him. He’s always been the jealous type. “Lindsey’s got this great sense of humor, you’d love her.” Frank doubts it, but he’s not about to say anything._

_“Am I the only guy you’ve ever dated Gee?” Frank asked, the question had been bothering him for a while now._

_“No,” Gerard said, he seemed to lose some of his energy when he said this. “I dated a guy a while back, and it didn’t end well. I’m afraid he hates me now. I deserve it, I was using him to get over someone…”_

_“Huh.” Frank said. “what’s the guy’s name? The one who’s heart you broke?”_

_“Bert McCracken. He’s a pretty/ handsome/ awkward kind of guy.”_

_“Huh? Oh okay.” Frank’s to struck to listen to most of what Gerard says next. Of course, Gerard’s dated other guys, it should feel like this much of a shock._

_“okay Frankie?”_

_“Huh?”_

_“I’ll call you later.” Gerard repeated._

_“Yes, I’ll call you next year.” Frank teased, Gerard gave an exaggerated sigh over the phone, and frank smiled._

_“I fucking hate that joke.” Gerard muttered._

_“I know. Happy New Year’s Eve Gee.” Frank said._

_“You too, I hope you find someone to kiss when the drops.” Gerard said Frank rolled his eyes and got up off his bed. He didn’t want someone to kiss when the ball dropped, he wanted Gerard._

_“Yeah yeah, have fun.” Frank mumbled. He was filled with memories of many New Year’s Eves spent together in a large party with their friends. He missed him, god did he miss him._

_“hey,” Gerard said, “I love you.”_

_Frank, surprised, answered back. “I love you too.”_

_“I never stopped loving you Frank.”_

_“What the fuck am I supposed to say to that?” Frank asked, he ran a hand through his hair, feelings he hadn’t felt in years began to crop back up._

_“Just say that you love me.” Gerard whispered._

_“I love you, and I will always love you.” Frank said, His mind was reeling._

_````````_   
_Frank’s phone rang on the table, he picked it up, it was Gerard. Frank, who had elected to just sleep through the new year, answered it._

_“What’s up Gee?” He asked. A woman answered instead._

_“I *hic* I’m not Gerard, M-my name is Lindsey, and I ha-have to tell you something.” Frank sat up in bed and turned on the light. He dragged his hand over his face and sighed._

_“Go ahead.”_

_“It’s Gerard. He’s-he *hic* He’s dead.” All the blood in Frank’s body seemed to turn into ice._

_“What?” he said._

_“He K-killed himself.” She whispered._

_“What?” Frank repeated, to in shock to understand what she was saying._

_“He- ‘s left a note, and His brother -Mikey- Found him two hours ago.” Frank looked at the clock next to his bed. They’d been on the phone together two and a half hours ago._

 

_“No, he can’t be.” Whispered frank._

_“He *hic* he wrote specifically in his note-“ Lindsey falter for a few minutes before speaking again. “That he wanted someone to call you w-when_ _he was found._

_``````````_  
Frank took another looked the crowd of people that had gathered for Gerard’s funeral. He looked down at the cards in his hands, and decided that for better or for worse, he loved Gerard.

“Gerard Way was my best friend, and the love of my life-” Frank began.

 

 

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> in loving memory of Mollie Sue Belasco. I really Fucking miss you.


End file.
